


5 Times Keith Surprised the Galra and 1 Time he Surprised the Humans

by theawkwardturtleduck



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5 + 1, 5 Things, Alien Cultural Differences, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, odd things that humans do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theawkwardturtleduck/pseuds/theawkwardturtleduck
Summary: Humans are weird, and even half humans fall pray to the idiosyncratic nature of humanity.





	5 Times Keith Surprised the Galra and 1 Time he Surprised the Humans

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [5次Keith让迦尔拉百思不得其解，1次震惊的却是人类](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18380399) by [LyndiaFox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyndiaFox/pseuds/LyndiaFox)



1)   
The day started as usual. Keith poured himself a bowl of food goo for breakfast and sat down at the table as usual. Shiro kissed the top of his head before sitting down next to him, as usual. Lance made a sarcastic comment about ‘disgusting couples who need to learn when to stop with the pda’ while holding Alluras hand, as usual. What was not usual, was the double take and gleam in Pidges eyes when she looked at Keith.

It was several minutes before Pidge decided to strike. During that time, the rest of team Voltron and the Blade of Marmora had filled out the dining room table and were engaged in various small morning conversations. During one of the natural pauses in the conversation, Pidge grinned her sisterly grin.

“Nice hickey there Keith.”

All conversation stopped. 

Keith was quickly turning bright red while Shiro, damn the bastard, was grinning smugly. 

“Im sorry,” Said Allura, “Whats a hickey?”

Keith folded his arms and buried his face with a groan, while Lance burst into laughter.

“Do you see the bruise on his neck?” Answered Pidge, still grinning like the fiend she was. “It’s what happens when somebody,” she nodded at Shiro who was now rubbing Keiths back in soothing circles. “Is a little overzealous in their neck kisses.”

Allura’s eyes went wide as Lance leaned over and brushed a gentle kiss on her neck, then she started giggling along with him.

“Did you have a nice night Keith?” She asked sweetly, smirking when he groaned and picked up his head to send Shiro a venomous glare.

Shiro only grinned, unrepentant.

Keith put his face back down and mumbled an affirmative into his arms.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Lance asked with false innocence.

“I said ‘yes I had a good night!’” Keith snapped at him.

Lance opened his mouth to tease farther, but Ulaz spoke first.

“The mating marks I understand,” He said, prompting a new round of blushing on Keith’s part, this time joined by Shiro at the word mate.

“What I do not understand is why you have turned red.”

Surprisingly, it was Allura who answered, her voice full of mirth.

“It’s called blushing!” She explained, “Apparently when humans feel embarrassed they blood vessels in their face dilate which causes redness.”

“They are unharmed?”

“Completely safe. Just flustered.” 

The Blade members looked confused, but there was amusement in their faces as well.

2)  
Though the castle was mostly self sufficient, every few months a stop was required to replenish food. Allura, ever the diplomat, used these necessary stops as an opportunity to foster the bonds she had cultivated between allied planets and the Voltron Paladins. Inevitably, every few months there was some sort of banquet which everybody was required to attend.

Though he understood the necessity of these events, Keith looked forward to formal days with apathy at best, and mild dread at worst. As much as he admired Alluras skills, diplomacy had never been his strength. He was to honest and blunt to accel at the games of words that the others played. Most nights, Keith remained quiet, speaking only when spoken to or among his own companions, and frequently haunting out of the way corners and alcoves.

It was during one of these events after Keith had settled himself in an alcove that Pidge came to join him.

“I miss dancing.” She said, making herself comfortable next to him.

Most of the species that they had visited used some form of auditory communication, but music was noticeably absent from every event they had been to. Many of the cultures they interacted with has noises that they found pleasing, but the were usually isolated sounds played on repeat until Keith was ready to punch a hole in the wall. 

Keith hummed before answering.

“I never learned how to dance formally,” he told her, “But Shiro and I use to go club dancing on the weekends back at the garrison. I saw Lance trying to show Allura how to dance the other day after training.” He huffed at the memory. “As graceful as Allura is, you would never know it from watching her dance.”

Pidge laughed gently at the thought of Allura being anything other than graceful.

“Want to put some life in this party?” She asked him, holding up her phone.

Keith grinned and pushed off the wall with her to go find their host. 

~

Kolvan frowned as he finished his perimeter check and reentered the banquet hall. Inside, the paladins were spinning each other in circles and laughing as sounds poured from one of the gadgets that Pidge was fond of bringing everywhere. Lance was swaying with Allura, trying to walk her through a simple step pattern. Hunk, on the other hand, was spinning and lifting Keith like a professional. Though he would never admit it, the way Keith was laughing made the corners of Kolvan's mouth twitch with a smile. Pidge had amassed a small following and was teaching them what seemed like random and pointless poses, and Shiro was having slightly better luck than Lance as he lead one of the planetary leaders through a similar step patterns.

3)  
Though there were many intense moments and close calls being part of team Voltron, there were also a lot of boring days filled with nothing to do. There were days filled with battles and defending the universe, but there were also days which were spent simply traveling from point a to point b. Using wormholes all the time exhausted Allura needlessly. 

It was during one of these slow days that Pidge and Lance had an idea.

Usually, Pidge and Lance’s ideas were avoided at all costs, but this time, Shiro had to admit, introducing the aliens to Star Wars did sound amusing. Thus it was that all occupants of the castle were called to the common room for a “human cultural competency training course.” Coran was Delighted.

Hunk made popcorn, Pidge was able to find copies of the movies, and Lance dragged blankets and pillows from every corner of the castle to make a giant nest on the common room floor. Soon everybody was lounging happily while the action flickered on the projected screen.

For the first movie, A New Hope because Shiro insisted that they were watched in release order, was the most amusing. The Alteans had a hard time figuring out what was realistically a human thing to do, and what was part of the story. Lance tried valiantly to convince Allura that he did, in fact, have mild telepathic abilities, but Shiro decided that to much misinformation could be deadly in a war and started explaining what was real and what was enhanced.

The Galra seemed to be doing pretty well in the beginning, but they started to lose track of the story after being distracted by the inaccuracies in technology. Kolvan wanted to know how lightsabers worked, and when Shiro explained that they were a completely fictional invention that was highly unlikely to ever become a reality, he was confused as to why they were included in the movie. Although the Galra did eventually learn to accept the presence of sy-fi technology, they never did quite grasp the concept of the Force. Apparently the concept of a greater power was a quirk of humanity.

Keith had never been particularly good about paying attention to movies, but he was enjoying the reactions of his friends. By the time the credits were playing for The Return of The Jedi, however, he was sleeping on Shiro's shoulder and snoring lightly. When Shiro noticed, he smiled fondly and shifted slightly to allow Keith's head to rest in a more comfortable position. 

“No Lance, you eat the laundry!” Keith said as Shiro moved, prompting everybody to freeze in surprise.

After a moment in which Keith’s quiet snores could be heard again, Lance cracked and started laughing as quietly as he could. Shiro tried to suppress a giggle, but failed when Keith mumbled something about Hunk and gourmet socks. As the paladins dissolved into the quietest laughter they could manage, Antok made his way over to Keith and Shiro, removing his mask and placing his ear close to Keith's face. He listened for a moment before drawing away.

“He appears to be sleeping.” Antok stated.

“Yes,” Shiro said, “he’s sleep talking.”

Antok made a face that Shiro had once assumed was anger, but that he now knew was an expression of confusion or deep thought.

“When we sleep,” Shiro continued, explaining further, “our bodies paralyze us so we don't act out our dreams. Sometimes that paralyzation isn’t perfect and we end up sleepwalking, or in Keith’s case, sleep talking.”

Ulaz looked up at the new information.

“What are dreams?” He asked.

“Umm, dreams are…” Shiro cast about for words, trying to think of how to explain. “Dreams are like memories, only they never actually happened. A lot of people think it's how our brains process or store information. Sometimes they make sense, but usually they are just a bunch of thoughts, experiences, and emotions all thrown together in random ways. Sometimes we remember them if we wake up in the middle of one, but we don't usually remember for long”

“And you are paralyzed during your sleep so you do not interact with the real world as you would with your dream?”

“Yes. For some people it isn't perfect though. I have a cousin who once tried to start her car in her sleep. She woke up the next morning with her house key in the ignition.”

Ulaz looked somewhat alarmed at that information.

“Do Galra not sleep?” Shiro asked.

“Of course, but we do not dream in the way that you describe. It's more a period of deep relaxation. We do not lose our awareness of our surroundings or interact with our memories.”

~

The next morning, Keith wandered into the dining room, bleary eyed and with hair sticking up in every possible direction. He took the bowl of food that Hunk offered him, sat down and received his good morning forehead kiss from Shiro, flipped Lance off when the other man pretended to gag at the display of affection, and reached for a spoon. When he finally looked at his bowl, however, he made a face. Inside, rather than the usual food goo, was what looked like a fried sock. Keith looked up at Hunk.

“What the fuck?” 

4)  
Lance yawned loudly for the third time as Allura lectured the paladins on the culture of a newly joined allied planet. Pidge shot him a glare as she yawned as well, followed by Hunk and then Shiro. Keith, having been mostly asleep already, was immune to the contagion of the yawn. 

Allura paused, watching the yawn pass from paladin to paladin.

“Are you quite done?” She asked eventually, amusement evident in her voice. Lance made a face, still grumpy from waking up so early.

“Would be done a lot faster with some coffee...” He grumbled to himself.

The other paladins nodded in agreement, and Keith woke up enough to look around hopefully at the mention of coffee.

Allura paused. She had heard them talking about coffee before, usually when the paladins were talking about things they missed from earth. She knew it was some sort of drink, but she didn’t understand why it would make a difference in their morning drowsiness. 

“Coffee is a drink is it not?” She asked.

Lance nodded mournfully.

“It is the nectar of the gods!” He said, now gazing wistfully out the window to the stars.

Well and truly distracted now, Allura pressed the topic.

“I would like to try this ‘coffee’ sometime. What is it made of? You always talk about it in the morning, is it traditionally a part of breakfast?”

Shiro nodded, taking over the explanation.

“It's made by roasting coffee beans, grinding them up, and pouring hot water over them. Many people like the taste, but we drink it in the morning because of the caffeine.”

At Alluras startled look he explained further.

“It's a mild stimulant so it helps wake us…” He trailed off as Allura's face changed from startled to incredulous. Ulaz jumped in.

“Perhaps the translators are malfunctioning. I heard you say that this coffee has caffeine in it, but that cannot be correct. Caffeine is a psychoactive drug affecting the central nervous system.”

Shiro grinned with growing amusement at the incredulous looks on the faces of his non human friends.

“I suppose that is one way of putting it.” He agreed.

Ulaz sat back in his chair.

“Perhaps it affects humans differently from Galra?” he suggested. “For us, and I’m assuming for Alteans,” he nodded to Allura, “It can cause a dangerous increase of heart rate, loss of appetite, paranoia and anxiety, and in some cases, psychosis.”

“Well, all of those symptoms can occur in humans,” Shiro conceded, “but the psychosis only happens in extreme cases. It is very difficult to consume enough caffeine to causes psychosis accidentally. The other symptoms you mentioned are quite common, but not severe enough to negate the positive effects for most people.”

Ulaz had taken out a pad and seemed to be writing notes as Shiro spoke.

“When taken in moderation, caffeine can increase alertness, speed reaction time, and boost mood. Some people, like Lance,” Lance waved at the sound of his name, “find that caffeine helps them calm down and focus.”

Ulaz paused in his note taking and turned to Keith.

“And what is your reaction to caffeine?”

Keith didn’t respond, having fallen completely asleep now that they were no longer discussing mission relevant information.

Lance snickered. 

“He use to drink coffee like water! I don’t think I ever remember seeing him in class without a cup of coffee. It didn’t even matter the time of day, he always had coffee.”

Ulaz looked thoughtful.

“Did you know that Daibazaal has a solar day equivalent to two of your earth days? A common rest cycle for a Galra is sixteen hours of sleep and thirty two hours of alertness. I wonder if Keith’s dependence on caffeine was a coping method for inadequate resting periods.”

Shiro looked thoughtful.

“That actually makes a lot of sense.” he said, making a mental note to talk to Keith about keeping a more Galren sleep cycle later.

Allura tapped the the table to gather everybody's attention.

“While this is fascinating and absolutely something that I would like to continue to discuss, we do need to finish this presentation.”

Pidge poked at Keith until he groaned and swatted her hand away, raising his head reluctantly and refocusing on Allura with bleary eyes. 

5)  
Though most days were merely spent traveling from point A to point B, there were also days of fighting and danger. 

“Shiro!” Keith called through his head set.

“Shiro! Shiro!” There was no answer.

“I found him!” Came Lance’s voice, thick with exertion. “He’s alive, but it looks like he's unconscious.”

The mission had started innocently. The blade had found a crucial base on the empires supply train of quintessence, and disabling the base should have been simple. Should have been.

Keith had become suspicious when the green lion met no resistance as it brought a small team to the base. His suspicions were confirmed when the base exploded with centuries as soon as they split up to find the control room. Now, running through the halls and fighting centuries trying to block his path, Keith could feel panic rising in his throat. Shiro was hurt. Shiro was hurt. Shiro was hurt.

Keith turned a corner and almost ran into Lance, who was holding Shiro in a fireman's carry and running from a group of centuries that he couldn’t fight with Shiro on his back. Keith quickly dispatched the pursuants and turned to Lance.

“How is he.” He asked, feeling his panic subside slightly as he watched Shiro’s pulse beat slow and steady on his neck.

“He’ll live.” 

The two men fought their way to meet up with Antok back at the green lion where Pidge was waiting.

“Let’s go!” Keith called, slashing his bayard through metal and wires to give Lance time to get Shiro into the lion.

With everybody aboard and as safe as they could be, Pidge was able to get them back to the castle.

~

Several hours later and after a short stint in the healing pod, Shiro walked into the control room for the mission debriefing. 

As soon as he walked in, Keith broke away from the group and stalked over, reaching up and pulling at Shiro’s hair until the taller man bent down for a fierce kiss. They stood there for a moment as Shiro let Keith release his fear with his tongue and teeth. Eventually the kiss turned gentle and Shiro found himself melting into Keith despite being the bigger man.

With a final soft kiss, Keith pulled away and lead Shiro back to where the others were standing, stopping when he saw the disgusted looks on the Galra’s faces.

“What?” he asked, somewhat defensive. “He was injured. I was worried. Besides, you’ve seen Shiro and I kiss before.”

Thace shook his head as if to clear it.

“We have seen you press your closed lips against each others skin, but we have never seen you lick the inside of eachothers mouths. I apologize for our reaction, but do you not find such an action unsanitary?

“I suppose it is a little odd if you didn’t grow up with it.” Shiro conceded, wrapping his arms around Keith and pressing another kiss to the top of his head.

“We don’t actually know why humans kiss.” Pidge said, raising herself on her toes to kiss Hunks cheek. Hunk smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

“Some people think it has to do with smell and pheromones or trading immune system information, but not all cultures do it. Most cultures press their faces against people they are close to in some form, but kissing romantically and mouth to mouth like Shiro and Keith were just now is not universal.” 

Lance wrapped an arm around Allura.

“You should try it sometime,” he told the skeptical Galra, “It actually feels really good. Just ask Allura here. She thought it would be gross at first too, but now she- Eep!” Lance cut off as a very red faced Allura wrapped her arm around him and squeezed.

The Galra still looked unconvinced.

+1)  
With the success of the ‘Human Cultural Competency Course,’ movie nights were scheduled whenever training and saving the universe allowed time. Sometimes the humans picked, sometimes the Alteans, sometimes the Galra, and sometimes they would pick a popular movie from one of the cultures on an allied planet. 

On the night Antok chose a epic Galren romance that caused groans from Thace and Ulaz - apparently Antok enjoyed b rated movies - and Lance had again built a sizable nest in the common room. Allura was leaned back against Lances chest, Pidge was curled into Hunk’s side, and Keith was laying with his head on Shiro’s lap while Shiro played with his hair. 

Onscreen, a young Galra….Man? Woman? Keith couldn’t tell. A young Galra was singing about how attractive the lead was. It was a nice song. The melody was simple and the music was intricate and almost hypnotic. Soon Keith was dozing again with his face pressed against Shiro’s stomach.   
Keith was half asleep and content when he realized something was off and rolled over so he was facing the room again.

“Why did the movie stop?” He asked, missing the gentle lul of the background music and buzz of onscreen conversation.

“Dude,” Lance said, his voice a mix of impressed and incredulous, “Were you purring?”

Keith blinked a couple times as if processing the question.

“I didn’t know I could do that.” He admitted, shrugging as he closed his eyes again, still facing the room, and nudged at Shiro’s hand in a request to resume the petting. 

Shiro acquiesced the gentle demand for affection.

“Do Galra purr? Because humans definitely don’t.”

“Yes?” Ulaz said, “It is common bonding behavior, but can also serve a healing or sedative purpose when one is injured.”

Shiro raised his eyebrows at the information as he continued to pet Keith, who had gone back to ignoring his surroundings and purring gently at the affectionant contact.

“So basically Galra are like giant house cats.” Lance snickered, grinning fondly despite himself.

Shiro rolled his eyes at Lance’s comparison, but privately thought it an apt description.

The movie resumed, after a quick explanation of what a house cat is that left the Galra looking torn between insulated and amused, and Keith continued purring as Shiro continued petting. It was sweet as simple, and as Shiro felt his heart expand in his chest as he cherished the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! If there are any mistakes or ways to improve, I would be happy to know!


End file.
